DC Metro Mom

When was the last time you had a heart-to-heart with a preschooler? Have you ever sat down and had a conversation with a three, four, or five-year-old? If you take the time and ask the right questions, you might be surprised by a child's depth and ability to express his or her thoughts.

In anticipation of Mother's Day, I asked twelve amazingly perceptive two, three, four and five-year-olds to answer the question (in one-on-one conversations), “Why Is Your Mommy Special?” Their answers are good reminders for parents to slow down and appreciate the small moments. Children just want your time and love (and an occasional treat). They don’t seem to care what you buy them or even how many places you take them to each weekend. What seems to matter most to these toddlers and preschoolers is spending some time playing and expressing love.

Does your child cry and scream when you drop off at daycare or school? How do you handle the goodbye drama and the parent guilt? Perhaps creating a goodbye routine will help.

A butterfly kiss, Eskimo kiss, mommy kiss, doggy kiss (no real licks involved), a hug and a promise to be back soon. This was the goodbye routine my son and I created when he was in preschool. Every day I would walk him to the classroom and wait in line until the teacher opened the door and individually greeted each child. Most children gave a quick hug and kiss before running into the classroom. My son, who is now in kindergarten, had to do “animal kisses” first (don’t ask). The first week it was really cute. Halfway through the year I started to get a little embarrassed, especially when the teacher pulled me aside to ask about this “unique” goodbye ritual. But, as the end of the year approached (and yes it continued to the very end), I decided to embrace and enjoy the over-indulgent goodbye show. My oldest had already banned all public displays of affection, so I knew it would only be a matter of time before I longed for animal kisses.

If you’re like my boys and me, you’ve been chasing around space shuttle Discovery over the past week. I heard about the shuttle coming up from Florida to the Air and Space Museum by Dulles a few months ago from one of my wonderful Northern Virginia mommy blogger connections and have had the days blocked off on my calendar ever since then. My twin boys are obsessed with all things space.  

On Tuesday the boys and I went down to the National Mall to see the shuttle fly over atop a modified jet. What I found the most intriguing was the sense of waiting expectantly with so many other people--  on the ground or on the tops of buildings— all waiting for the same thing.  We were by the Capitol, and judging from the crowds on the terraces, there were not many people left inside the Capitol. Everyone looking at the sky.

A typical child has 6 to 12 illnesses a year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

This past week the Washington Nationals had their home opener. They’ve started their season off with a bang and have baseball commentators speculating that this year if they stay healthy, the Nats will probably be able to be the most competitive that they’ve ever been and a real contender in the playoffs. I’m a big baseball fan and love the fact that we are so close to a pro team here in Washington. But so far this year it is even more exciting that we have a team with a record of nine wins and three losses that is in first place in the NL East!

My husband and I love baseball and we’re teaching our twin boys to do the same. We headed out to the park Friday night to see the first night game. It was a perfect night for baseball—not hot and only toward the very end did it get a little chilly. One of our boys is content to just sit and take everything in—he loves all sports, but especially baseball. He’s not even three yet and he has a favorite player! The other one spent considerable time making friends while dancing in the aisles and sliding peanuts down the seats. We had awesome seats along the right field line, which is a treat for us. We usually just get cheap seats farther up, but my husband got these seats as a birthday gift for me. We were just a few rows from the field. The game was a pitching duel. Both pitchers were right on, and it went into extra innings. Our boys were well behaved and entertained, but after the 13^th inning when it was 11pm, we headed out. The Nats won in the 14^th inning and we heard it on the radio as we drove home with sleeping kids.

I didn’t know what to expect when my friend said, “Let’s go to the farm museum!” What’s that? A farm with placards? Taxidermy cows and chickens? I had no idea. Is there manure involved? She described it as kind of a mini children’s museum. Today we went to the Heritage Farm Museum in Sterling, and I was pleasantly surprised. It’s like one big display room of a normal, adult museum that has quite a few hands-on elements for kids. It’s the perfect blend of children’s and adults’ museums. For DC moms, it’s about 40 minute drive, and of course less for most NOVA moms. We spent over an hour and a half inside and about 15 minutes on the big tractors out front with our almost-three year-olds. Here’s the lowdown:

Barn: Inside the barn, kids can not only milk a pretend cow (water comes out) and gather wooden eggs in baskets from a plastic hen house, but they can also dress the part. There are overalls and bonnets and such for children who want to look the part.

Do you ever have questions or concerns about how your 3-5 year old is walking, talking, playing, or behaving but don't know whom to ask or where to go for help?

In Washington DC it is estimated that 12% or more of children may have some type of developmental delay.

Whenever I am talking to people at work or something and mention we went out to dinner, people always say, "Oh, I can't take my kids to restaurants". It makes me want to scream. The reason why kids "can't" go to restaurants is because the parents don't take them to restaurants. The only way kids learn how to behave in restaurants is to go to them. We make a concerted effort to go out with the kids every two weeks or so.

Now, I'm not saying we bring them to Ruth Cris Steakhouse or some high-end restaurant (although we do occasionally)..but just going to the neighborhood joint or a chain restaurant like Chilis or Olive Garden or something is enough.
And you can't expect little kids to just sit there, wait for their food, and make polite conversation. You have to be prepared. We carry crayons and coloring books, as well as aqua-doodle sheets and pens. It is not always easy. Especially with Big Man - keeping him in his seat is not an easy task.

Some times it is a nightmare, and we end up getting our food in boxes and leaving. But I think that has only happened once. More often we don't have a leisurely dinner, but more sort of rush through a bit so that the kids can handle it. But most of the time it works out just fine. The kids understand how to behave, amuse themselves with crayons or the like, and we have a nice family dinner. But we think it is important that our kids learn how to behave in public. And the only way that will happen is if we do it. (And it means we go out for dinner without paying $15/hour for a babysitter.)

Cross posted on http://www.threetimemommy.blogspot.com/.

I will admit I am a marketer's dream.  If there is a new product, movie, event, etc....I want to check it out.  I have this insatiable need to be running with the pack.  As my 3rd official Mom's Day drew closer and I thought about what I wanted to do to celebrate, I realized I was doing the same thing with the event of Mother's Day.  I was falling prey to the hype and Madison Avenue expectation of Mother's Day.  In years past, I would mandate a beautiful brunch with a well coiffed family and a special day in DC.  Why...because it is what folks do on Mother's Day...right?? 

Well I have come to realize that my daughter appears to like dining with us even less than we enjoy the experience with her.  Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter.  She is a high energy bundle of joy who NEVER wants to sit down.  It is not her gig.  If she is in a new environment she MUST check out every nook and cranny of a house, restaurant, park, etc.  It makes playdates virtually impossible as she will never sit still and is typically discovering someone's upstairs faucet after 30 minutes at a playdate.  I have come to expect this behavior and have planned around it.

Gia thrives in an open environment where she can run and explore.  I often feel the same.  I have never been one to shop with people.  I like my own schedule.  I hate making fixed plans with other couples.  There is no wiggle room if you are early or late.  So I guess I shouldn't be shocked to see my own hyperactivity and restless spirit in my child.  With this in mind, this Mother's Day I picked an event that would create harmony for the whole family.  My little one got to stay home with her father that she adores!  She watched her favorite shows and played for hours on a rainy Sunday.  As for me, I enjoyed 3 hours rooming the mall.  I gave myself carte blanche to linger in Restoration Hardware, fend off Gymboree and shop without a frustrated toddler.  It was the first time I have done so, guilt-free, in almost 3 years.  I loved every minute of it.  I also felt the pain of the mother in the adjacent fitting room, who told her 4 year old to return to her father because "You are making mommy nervous".  She wasn't enjoying her shopping trip and it ended abruptly 5 minutes later, without a purchase.

My long winded point is this...maybe we owe it to ourselves and our kids to break the mold and the stereotype of society's accepted behavior and go with what works for us and our family.  I have learned this lesson the hard way.  I have a full list!  Failed attempts at toddler ballet, acquiescing to other people's schedules that in no way helped me or my child, disjointed playdates that left my daughter irritated, listening to unsolicited parenting advice that in no way jived with my daughter's personality and countless other tales of woe...

At the end of the day and to borrow an overused line from every season of "The Bachelor", we really do need to be "True to ourselves".  It is not always easy, but I have found in my 37 years that the more you try to win a popularity contest with society the greater the chance of failure!  Impress yourself and your family first, it makes life a lot easier and a heck of a lot more pleasant.  Happy belated Mother's Day.

Do all of you remember when your first baby started walking? Well, maybe not walking per se, more like stumbling madly around like Gary Busey on the tail end of a long bender, barking with glee and pawing at people. Sound familiar? Yeah, I had forgotten about that phase. My oldest, at a ripe old two and a half, has long since figured out how to hop down steps and avoid grabbing pots off the stove. He's mastered the no-no spots of the house and is really good at those quick saves before his big melon goes crashing into sharp corners. Most of the time.

So for the past few months I've been thinking, "Okay, sweet, now I can actually hold a mug of hot coffee and drink it. For more than four seconds at a time. Before it turns into arctic sludge." I even got to SIT with it a few times. And oh, what a PERFECT time for the parenting gods to rub their hands together and snicker. How silly of me to relax my neurotic-tension-reflex-o-meter, or whatever the hell is responsible for that mad dash towards disaster we all do to avert the certain ER-visit (despite how fun it is to sit in a waiting room with an injured toddler for two hours).