Some people are naturally shy, some are introverts, and many of us are both.  For anyone with these traits, the prospect of networking can seem daunting and even panic-inducing.  Whether you are looking for a new job or seeking to expand opportunities through new connections, here I offer some tips for those of us who find networking downright scary.

First, let me explain what I mean by the term "introvert."  Introverts naturally prefer solo or small-group activities and recover better in silence rather than in crowded places.  That is why they may enjoy networking far less than their antipodes -- the extraverts.  However, introverts can be very effective networkers if they utilize their own special gifts for communication and conquer their fears.  Towards that end, this article focuses on two major issues:

(1)  The so-called "Gifts" or characteristics of introverts that are very valuable for networking, and,

(2)  Major "Networking Nightmares" or difficulties and helpful ways to cope with them.

Gift 1: Analytical skills. Introverts are Kings and Queens of analysis and integration of information.  How this could help? A lot!  All preparatory networking activity is about analysis.  It includes preparation of an 'elevator speech' (a 30-second mini-presentation combining all of your most important qualifications, experience, and aspirations), defining target networking groups and persons, selecting potentially beneficial events, preparing letters, and forming mature and independent options.

Gift 2: Listening skills. Most introverts are great listeners.  How this could help?  Attentive empathic listening is the best way to build a bridge with another person.  And it is the only way to get information in the conversation.

Gift 3.  Great focus. Most introverts have a natural ability to focus for a long time on a matter of interest.   How could this help?  By keeping the 'elevator speech' focused and to the point, introverts can be very effective in getting their message across in a networking conversation.

Gift 4.  Love of reading. For most introverts reading is a joy.  How this could help?  When you are well-read about the latest developments in current events, business, or literature your knowledge will impress the listener and win respect.

Gift 5. Skills to establish deep contact. Introverts usually focus on a few close friends and, as a result they are good at establishing deep and profound relationships.  How this could help?  A deeper contact is definitely a shorter way to professional partnership or friendship than are numerous superficial interactions.

Now, after we discovered our greatest strengths, let us finally conquer this scary animal -- Networking!  Here come the most common "Networking Nightmares" (NN) and what you can do to overcome them:

NN 1.  "I don't know how to network." This is the area requiring the most preparation.  Networking is a very special phenomenon and some knowledge about how things work is really necessary.  What can help: (1) Books, internet seminars and individual coaching -- all these are great resources. (2) Prepare an 'elevator speech'.  This is a must for everyone -- no matter how easily you find necessary words in a stressful situation. (3) Get a clear view of your interests and the information you can provide to others.

NN 2. "I cannot 'sell' myself!" In many cultures, it is considered rude to boast about your accomplishments.  American culture is no exception; however, what is special about the American culture is the high regard for a business mind.  This means that you will gain respect in the American business world if you are able to present your skills and qualifications in their best light.

NN 3.  "I do not know how to start communication with a stranger.  I am afraid that I won't know what to say." These are the communication skills that may need some practices.  Don't miss the opportunity to practice in stores, with other parents while waiting for kids after classes, taxi drivers, or anybody you come across and feel comfortable talking to.  What can help:

(1) Demonstrate a genuine interest. Interest is always flattering.  Look at the person in front of you -- what catches your eye or what thoughts are you having?  What might he or she be doing in his or her spare time or what is his or her job? What is a question you want to ask?  Open your heart and mind and you will be amazed at how many things you really want to know about this person!

(2) Articulate what's going on. This may be helpful when you don't know how to start a conversation with somebody or have an awkward pause.  'Its so nice in here,' 'this speaker is great', 'we just had a passionate discussion and now this pause,' 'I feel nervous being here for the first time' -- all these are examples of articulating what you are noticing. Nothing to invent -- just say what you see or feel.

(3) Compliment. Isn't his son terribly cute?  Weren't you grabbed by her presentation half an hour ago?  What about her dress or haircut?  Complimenting another person may be one of the shortest ways to access that person's desire to help you.  Just be sure the compliment is genuine.

(4) Ask! Asking small or big questions is almost always appropriate.  This is what networking is all about.  Mostly people feel happy to share what they know and it is flattering to be considered an expert.

NN4.  "Networking is too energy-consuming!" What can help:

(1)  Be focused. Do not forget about the information flow that is the purpose of networking.  Stay to the point and avoid long general talks about nothing.

(2) Go out only when energized. While extraverts get energy through social contacts, introverts often feel drained after communications.  Being low would prevent you from getting what you want out of those interactions.

(3) Be sure to look your best. Put on something that is both comfortable and flatters you and be sure that your hair and make-up are fresh.  Not only will this increase your confidence, but it will help shift your attention from yourself to the person in front of you.

(4) Plan the number of events/talks per week. What's your comfortable limit -- 1, 2, 3 talks a week?  Don't undo your efforts by overdoing your limits.

(5) Use friends as much as possible. The fact that it is not a 'cold call' may add a great deal of comfort.

(6) Online networking. The 21st century is made for introverts!  Social networks such as Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, professional groups, etc. make it easier than ever for introverts to find contacts.  At a minimum you should establish an online profile and respond to invitations.  Exploring contacts online and communicating through email may be a very effective way for you to communicate when face-to-face meetings prove too daunting.

I hope that now you recognize that even a shy introvert can be highly effective at networking.  Now more than ever, networking is important to furthering your career and expanding your connections.  So leverage your gifts, conquer your fears, get out there and smile, smile, smile!

Tamara Tarasova is a Life Style Coach and mother to a nine-year old daughter and toddler son.  She blogs to reveal her professional insights and also to share some of her personal stories with other moms.  To learn more about Tamara and her coaching services please visit her website at www.highheelcoaching.com.