As Alanis quipped, “Isn’t it ironic?” I learn of the existence of National Simplify Your Life Week for the first time while I am just over 20 weeks pregnant with my first baby. My life seems the opposite of simplified right now. Monthly prenatal appointments, interviewing pediatricians, making sense of maternity leave, and measuring out our one-bedroom apartment to figure out the best way to arrange space for a crib feel anything but simple. I said as much to my husband last night, and his reply surprised me.

“We are doing a lot to simplify our lives right now!” He was mainly referring to our progress in purging unneeded items from the apartment to make space for our baby and its various necessary items. (That’s right, “it”, we don’t know what gender we’re expecting! More on that in another post.) As I looked around at the work we were doing, (presently, rearranging the bedroom) I realized we were aiming to create space. Space seems to me the essence of simplicity. Space between the pieces of furniture in our bedroom. Space in the drawers and closets. Space in my schedule for more naps, prenatal appointments and yoga classes. Space in our budget to take on new responsibilities. Simplifying is often about cutting out what is not needed, respecting our limits (of time, of mind, of physical room) and leaving some “space” around them. I guess we are simplifying!

I asked some other moms how they simplify, and space came up again.

Dana, mom of two boys ages 3 and 2 months, mentioned to areas she focuses on to keep things simple: “With regard to the stuff we acquire, I have to say that most of the crap they make for babies are completely unnecessary and even unhelpful. I ask myself, did a cave woman, pioneer woman, or my mother need this? (For swings, bouncies, bumbos, grocery cart covers, wipe warmers, etc the answer was no). Or I ask myself, will he like this better than a box? Again the answer is usually no! With regard to the stuff we do, a lot of the time the "too much" is activity that isn't aligned with my goals as a parent. I'm not going to invest a lot of time cleaning to make my house a showcase to friends when it is better for everyone if I play a game of hide and go seek or peekaboo. Basically, as a WAHM I have so much going on I have to constantly make the decision: what is the most important thing I do right now (not the most urgent) - whether it's kid, spouse, work, house.”

Heather, mom to one preschooler son, echoed the “stuff” theme: “Being one of those people who bought everything out there, I can tell you it was not worth it!” What was worth it? “Books, books, and books are the only thing I say splurge on, and even then you can go to the library and get them at a used place. Toys are ok, but we have too many for our tiny apartment. Make room for books.”

Jean is mom to two, both school-aged, and she talked about space for our adult relationships: “I think one guiding principle that has helped us navigate a simple life with 2 kids is: The kid joins your life, not the other way around. This may sound selfish, but it's not when you consider how much you do for your child. What it does is keeps us from going to the other extreme--that place where we're doing/buying/overthinking everything for our kids. For example, we made a conscious choice to keep our small DC living room a place that reflect us as adults, a place where we have company, listen to music, enjoy a glass of wine. That meant having just enough toys that could fit in a nice basket. It's kid friendly without looking like a romper room. Sticking to this principle means taking time to go out on date or even take a vacation without the kids! It's so easy to put your relationship with your spouse/partner on the back burner because raising a child takes a lot of energy. Reminding ourselves of this notion that the kids joined us (and will one day leave!) inspires us to nurture our relationship with each other.”

As I look at my new bedroom taking shape, I think about how peaceful the room feels when there is free space between things, and how good I feel about the space we are making for our child to fill, and I try to imagine similar “spaces” around the other areas of my life, both free space and spaces to fill with those things that are most important to me.

Where can you create space to make life a little simpler?

Image Credit: http://loganholman.blogspot.com/