Let's get one thing straight. I'm not going to win the "Mom of the Year" award this year. Or next. Or probably ever. So I'm just going to put this out there, and hope that I don't regret typing it.

I think watching my kid eat is f@*#ing disgusting.

I remember how excited I was when at Henry's 4 month appointment the doctor told us that we could go ahead and try rice cereal and purees. I'm not sure what I expected feeding to be like, but I'm pretty sure I didn't think it would totally freak me out.

Food on spoon > baby opens mouth > food into mouth > swallow > repeat

Not

So

Much

It's gross. It gets everywhere. And then hours later you have to do it again. F.

I'm not a clean freak either. Sure, I like stuff to be tidy and in it's place, but I have no problem forgoing the after dinner clean-up if an episode of The Biggest Loser or Up All Night is on.

But for some reason, watching my 11 month old eat causes me to hyperventilate. Here are examples of what's so scary.

First, it got everywhere. Bib or no bib. There wasn't an ear, nostril, eye socket, neck roll, armpit, or diaper that this kid didn't get food into.Gross.

Then, we got smart. We bought one of those scoop bibs to catch the drips and drops. It worked to keep his clothes clean, but food still ended up in all facial cavities. Sick.

Well, then HE got smart. He learned how to lift the bib upside down causing all of it's contents to come falling out all over his face and the floor. Hilarious...

...NOT.

Especially not hilarious considering that if we had him in his Bumbo (and not his highchair) like in the pictures above, he would proceed to then only choose pieces of food off of the floor to eat...causing an instantaneous rise in my blood pressure. 

Needless to say, mommy needs a xanax or blood pressure meds to watch this kid eat. I'd like to think that it'll all get better with time...but like everything else, I think I'm just kidding myself.